worry morry lorry....horny??LOL!

Banyak benda sebenarnya yang dirisaukan.

• Kasut spike hilang. Aku rasa aku patut bertanggungjawab sebab tahun ni aku guru rumah sukan yang diamanahkan jaga kasut2 tu..tengok2 ada jugak hilang sepasang.Hairan betul aku dengan mentaliti budak2 sekolah ni..kasut spike pun nak tapau.
• PMR lagi 38 hari. Aku yang cemas..tahun ni aku pegang 3 kelas untuk subjek matematik. Harap2 sempat la nak boost students aku untuk jawab soalan matematik
• MY WEDDING! aduii..mungkin sebab kami belum tetapkan tarikh untuk nikah tu yang menyebabkan persediaan satu apa pun belum buat lagi. Semuanya di awang-awangan.Bukannya tak buat checklist...buat tu buat..tapi satu apapun tak boleh tick lagi. Kadang2 rasa tersepit dengan impian sendiri dengan keinginan orang tua yang inginkan perkahwinan terselit adat.Sebenarnya hati aku pun berbelah bagi..perkahwinan mengikut adat sebenarnya quite costly sedangkan perkahwinan ikut syariat Islam very simple n save cost.Ok...here is the comparison..Perkahwinan adat: Khatam Quran, Nikah,Malam berinai,majlis persandingan. Perkahwinan secara syariatnya: Nikah n majlis kenduri. However, being me who born n raised in the community rich with culture and respect the customs we had, I do want to have wedding that Islamic and have bisaya touch here n there.arrggh!stressed!
• Lagi satu perkara yang merisaukan adalah my life as wife.Mo stay di mana?am i ready to leave keningau?Will my application  to leave keningau be approved?? can i still keep in touch with my friends??can i be a good wife??can i wake up early to cook breakfast for my husband??obviously im sleepy head n lazy one @_@

Too many things to think n worry about. I dont want to think rite now but having said all that i want to wish happy merdeka day to all malaysian all around the world. As sabahan, im quite sad actually..merdeka is supposed to be counted start from 1963 because that was the year sabah sarawak n malaya unite and Malaysia formed. I dont desert malayan i dont hate west malaysian..my husband to be is west malaysian for the record.I think u will agree with me when i say no one like being left out. Malaysia still in my heart!

What i need

This is where i need man at most! When my car's Tyre punctured.That means i need to change the tyre.Sigh.Wish i have strength as man does. This month alone the car had give me such problem..weak battery twice or maybe it was the fault of the owner who idly start the engine for weeks. Sometimes being too independent makes me tired. I need a person to do things for me.I need an escapade..no not Raya..raya is not an escapade nowadays Raya for me as an adult..(yeah, refer to my number of age) is no longer fun as it was before..Raya is time to make sure Kuih is on table and get drinks prepared for guest that coming and not to mention a lot of washing dishes will go on during that day.Despite all that, I still looking forward this coming Syawal coz we will enter new house.InsyaAllah. but it never make man less needed.I need man or even better..Husband =) (forgive me, it was my age, hormone n biological clock made me write this, I am cool independent lady actually)

Something u dont want to read.

aku rindu untuk menulis sperti dahulu..aku perlukan laptop baru supaya semangat baru sampai untuk aku menulis.aku percaya aku berbakat.aku punya bakat untuk menulis.aku boleh menyusun ayat untuk mempengaruhi pemikiran orang.All i need is more observation.

Tuan rumah bercuti ke Indonesia

esok aku dah nak bertolak ke Jakarta...flight jam 7.30pm....plan nak beli kain untuk baju kawen kat sana...aduih...berkaratnya otak nak update blog...takpa2..nanti aku akan ubah blog aku ni jadi travelog sket...huhu....esok sebelum bertolak nak p singgah tukar duit dulu...aku bakal jadi jutawan~hoho...jutawan la sangat...syukur..aku diberi kesempatan untuk mencapai impian..memang sejak aku minat sheila on 7 lagi aku dah angan-angan nak pegi Indonesia...walaupun tak la sampai Jogjakarta...tapi sampai Jakarta dan Bandung pun dah kira ok la tu..sekarang..angan-angan nak bawak family aku plak p sana...tak dilupakan nak p europe~akankah tercapai?hendak seribu daya..tak hendak seribu dalih..betul bebenor kata orang tu...aku nak p Indonesia ni pun mula-mula sayang sangat duit...tapi memikirkan peluang ada depan mata...aku kuatkan hati..biarlah apa orang nak kata...samalah ceritanya macam aku nak daki gunung Kinabalu dulu..orang tak percaya...tapi alhamdulillah...Gunung Kinabalu puncaknya dapat ku tawan! itu juga salah satu impian aku yang tercapai...syukur...syukur....semoga perjalanan aku sentiasa dilindungi ALLAH..amin... see u guys in next entry.eh, ada ka lagi baca entry aku ni.hahaha...

Main futsal untuk kesihatan!

Last friday was our second time for futsal..2nd time kurang bes sebab ramai kawan2 xda..so kurang la HUHAHUHA..

Hadiah yang aku dapat kali ni ialah....hentakan di punggung terus sakit for 10minutes...bes!Memang keluar peluh..rasa sihat dan yakin ja..walaupun tendang bola cam haram!kikiiiiiiii.

Tips nak main futsal from newbie to newbie:Rate court tak sama setiap tempat tapi lebih kurang ja.Tempat yang kami main tu rm35 1 hour.Murah sebab waktu petang memang murah.Bila dah main ramai2, kena la bayar sorang sikit.Lagi ramai lagi bagus.Kasut,pakai ja kasut sukan yang tapak flat.Senang nak lari.peace!

Are you making the right choice?

Cuti seminggu dah habis.Xda apa kot yang terlalu menarik nak dikongsikan di sini.Nama ja bawa kamera ke majlis kahwin sepupu..tapi satu gambar pengantin pun tak ambil.Heran aku.Dah balik keningau ni.Sekali balik, kedepuk kerja berlambak.Hari tu sombong, tak mau bawa balik kerja balik kampung.Ya lah, nama pun cuti.Night before balik kampung pulak gedik nak ber'funfair' sampai lupa diri.huhuuuuuuu.

Aku banyak menonton tv sepanjang cuti.Minda aku cepat menangkap skrip yang menarik dan bijak yang mana boleh menggerakkan fikiran.Antaranya..

Brian: I was engaged with Julie. My family n friends expect that we will get marry and it didn't happened. I'm so sad.

Nora: No Brian..you cannot live the way people think you suppose to...but it is you to choose.

Taken from " The Edge of Garden"

and this got me thinking....life is about choosing even though sometimes we feel like we have been left with no choice. Am i making the right choice? to choose means that to determine, to have a deep thought, to think about the consequences not just for me but for others because i cant live alone. Sometimes, we have to get through till the end to know the result..whether is it a smart move to select this other than that because prediction always prediction and what is for sure happens only God know. It also happens where at first we feel like we made wrong choice/decision but later it turn up to be "If my cousin didnt force me to join the so called boring-environmental-event the other day, i wouldnt meet sophia,my soulmate" that kinda situation. Ya......somehow, wrong choice can be the best choice u ever mad! I have chosen not to bring my workload at home and NOW is time to repay the time i had at home...but it still worth it.I don't mind working hard now just to make me look smarter busy..haha....

So this time i've made the right choice... =) obviously im trying to be optimistic at the moment~

Pour it out

There alots of things i wanna write here actually..but all just become sound of thoughts in my head and slowly fading away...i dont have the passion to write anymore maybe because i dont have any responses..and no one ever bothered to comment my entry.That's ok...to be honest as we getting older and older...the commitment and dedication has shift to other direction..2 or 3 years back I can only think about myself and doing my own things at my own place...but now i still consider myself in everything I do but now I got to take my family and his family into consideration. Life never easy and test keep coming in many different ways no matter how small and big they are..beside they will make u stronger they can also can break u till no strength left..

I have my own dream..in future I want a happy family Lovely Husband and Beautiful Kids stay in our own home drive our own car maybe we have this financial matter here and there but we keep up..but we will be living in HAPPY SUPER NO PROBLEM AT ALL family...well..thats the problem with me..i got this dream that is tooooooooooo sweet and fly to high will only break me into pieces if i fall...I have very bad expectation in future...im afraid of future actually...WHY do i have to be far away from him?? WHY i feel so insecure?? WHAT it will be in future?? CAN i still pursue master?? WILL i have the passion to write again?? WILL i be ready to leave sabah for him??WILL the same thing happen to aunt, where she just leave in KL but never back home for lime 10years, happen to me??WILL i be a good wife??WILL i be a better muslim after marriage??everything resound in my head.....