This is not the end

I loss a greatest friend in this world while saving a 4years relationship...is it worth it?....i cant tell...suddenly i feel a BIG hole inside me....the words came out without my own will...its just a sentence without question mark..and its no longer a question but a statement... i was about to make it as a question my friend...but i dont know...suddenly i think of testing you..and suddenly it became serious...stupid...as the one who has made the decision...i feel really2 sorry...menyesal yang amat.......and i feel a very deeeep pain inside me....im hurting myself.....i am gonna miss u...let me access to your life in a way that i know...i cant imagine what will happen next...i dont want to think about it...i'll remember ur last word..be yourself...Chubbi butterfly....like i said..one day i'll come back to you when i gain the strength to stand as myself...not what other people want me to be....never say goodbye...Namo....